Grief therapy online throughout virginia & west virginia
You don’t have to remember them with regret
when grief gets tangled up with blame
Maybe the last time you talked, you didn’t say “I love you.” Maybe you keep wondering whether you missed something, or whether you somehow caused this. You replay it over and over, and now you can’t even think of them without the regret coming first.
Over time, that regret can turn into something heavier. You start to believe you were a bad daughter, a terrible friend, or a brother who should have done more. Feeling better seems like something you don’t deserve, and talking about it feels impossible.
Sometimes the anger points at them, too. Why did he just give up? Why didn’t she stop drinking when you told her it would kill her? Then the guilt comes right back: you shouldn’t be mad at someone who’s gone, and what kind of person can’t forgive them?
All of these feelings can live right alongside how much you loved them. None of them make you a bad person.
Does this sound familiar?
Avoiding photos, places, or memories because the guilt hits first
Feeling guilty for laughing or enjoying anything without them
Keeping your anger to yourself because it feels wrong to be mad at them
Pulling away, even from people who are trying to support you
what we’ll do together
Untangling the grief from the guilt
Therapy with me gives you a place where you don’t have to minimize what you lost, protect other people from your feelings, or pretend you’re ready to move forward before you are.
Together, we’ll make room for whatever grief brings: sadness, anger, guilt, relief, longing, or even moments of joy that feel complicated. You can say the things you’ve been afraid to say out loud, including the anger.
We’ll also look at where the self-blame comes from. Often, the regret gets louder because of an old voice that was already telling you you’re not good enough. Together, we’ll get to the root of that, sometimes using EMDR or parts work, so guilt doesn’t have to be the first thing you feel when you think of them.
Over time, you can carry the loss with more compassion for yourself and remember them with more love than regret.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
They mattered, and so do you. Loving them and forgiving yourself can happen at the same time.
What we’ll work toward
Imagine a life where…
you can look at their photos and remember the good moments, not just the last one.
you can laugh or enjoy something without feeling like you’re betraying them.
you can admit you’re angry at them and still feel how much you loved them.
you can talk about them without worrying that you’re burdening someone.
you can reconnect with the people around you without feeling like you’re leaving them behind.
you can carry what mattered with you while slowly finding your way forward.
You are not your regrets
You can stop punishing yourself for loving them imperfectly
Questions?
FAQs
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Yes. Grief can bring up a lot at once: love, good memories, regret, denial, anger at yourself, and anger at them. Feeling angry doesn’t mean you loved them any less. All of your feelings are welcome here, and we can make sense of them together.
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Yes. For many Christians, grief brings up hard questions about God. You might feel angry at God for taking them, or worry that the loss is somehow a punishment. You can bring all of that into therapy without being judged or rushed toward easy answers. If faith is a big part of your story, you may also find my Therapy for Christians page helpful.
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I won’t pressure you to get over your loss, stop talking about them, or forget what mattered. Therapy with me can help you understand how the loss has affected you, ease the guilt and regret that keep pulling you back, and slowly build a life that holds both your grief and the good things still ahead.